Céline Hamilton

Céline Hamilton about her writing

"Where I come from, there are rules. None are in writing, and don't you dare say them out loud. But they are the law, and ultimately dictate how your life should play out. Who and what you are to become -- and remain.

No wonder, perhaps, that my two best friends growing up were invisible pretend-friends. One was goody-good and one was more evil; or what if they were the same person? I was not them but they lived within me, and allowed me to walk through doors and go places where no rules existed. 

Other friends I met through books. On the pages and in what was left unwritten. Each week, I would walk into my local library to inquire whether my favorite author had published something new. How hard could it be; how long could it possibly take these authors to churn out another book? For a quick minute, I even had a supermodel career as the literal poster child for getting Swedish kids to read more books. 

Still, it took years before another imaginary friend in the form of a book character showed up for me. Remember those rules? They put me through a master’s degree and career in numbers and spreadsheets and the hard sciences. Before words, stories and art insisted on calling me back home again. I’ve now worked in publishing and as a book editor for 14 years.

That pure, playful imagination as a child becomes something else when you’ve lived more of life. It scares easily and needs more prodding to come back out — but then you have all the more material to work with. There are sounds, feelings, scents and snapshots from decades that refuse to die down; now they meld into and fuel a childish imagination that’s still in there. In each of us. 

For years, I stored secret scenes and pages in abstract drawers. One day a red-haired woman began taking shape. She gently offered to weave scenes together and make them into her story. She annoyed me and disturbed me and insisted on spending much time together. Because she had things to do — and much to say. 

She’s here now, pale but standing upright, attempting to navigate the rules she too was born into. Her name is Emma, and it’s been my sweet pleasure (yes, 'flow' is an actual thing, at times) to walk beside her on the page. Only to watch her slowly break through and break down the walls I too once thought were impenetrable. 

I hope you’ll want to watch her become a woman who thoroughly surprised us both. As humans sometimes do — in art and life both."